“May we be strengthened with the understanding that being blessed does not mean that we shall always be spared all the disappointments and difficulties of life.” Heber J. Grant

Strange Day

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
Franklin P. Jones

Up and restless from my strange day, splatter paint or write - write a touch - less mess

So enjoyed the bumper on the way into town - should have known how perfect it would be:

"God Bless Everyone - No Exceptions"

Finding my park of choices today not easy, did. And so grateful, I did not have go back up the hill I had to come down.

Enjoyed the part sitting in the sun, water views on the lake, people in the distance - my space visually all to myself - slow meditative peaceful - then a startling loud "I'll take 3 mushroom cheeseburgers." Out of my reverie now . . . it is a public park just didn't see it coming.

Then to work, first call (unrelated to anything I really do) - Caller - "Wal-Mart is stealing peoples identities, what are you going to do about? I demand you something now!!

Next call - I say "Hello" - Caller - "So how many times am I going to have to repeat myself?" (well if you were talking before I answered, I am guessing at least once).

Ok, then an instant message, "hi glad you're here, someone just had to scrape me off the ceiling earlier, let me know you need help with anything. (oh, dear I hope not).

Breathe - oh, yeah: God Bless Everyone - No Exceptions

Ok, phone, Hello - no direct response but conversation in the background "I don't what do you think, do we want to talk to these people" "I don't know, let's ask James" Yelling for James. . . (they did vote to talk - it was simple - they were happy)

No exceptions

Ok, breathe phone - Hello - "Ok,  listen to me, you need to help me right now, but before I say anything more, you better prove you are going to help me. But before that let me tell you a few things. . . "

Can I go home now . . .

Ok, phone - ah, going good, already have your name thank you, Ms. Sue Smith (fake name of course but equally simple to understand). Me - I am so but I am finding your information. "That's because you can't spell - here let me help you - S - U - E, heavy sigh by caller, S- M - I - T = H. There did that help you.

Still not finding information, stressed me, stressed caller, after having asked as politely as possible for maiden name, other name, more than once . . . so sorry I am not finding that information - 5 minutes plus into what should be a 60 second call . . . "Well, maybe it;s under my other name Gary Walruzksky-Connors (fake by illustrative - different gender - hyphenated last name - ah - no spelling offered)

No exceptions.

I was ever so grateful I will not be the first person to test our new software program when it goes live tomorrow, yep I will be the second or third LOL

A day of cryptic emails no one could explain tonight, a minor crisis at the end . . . done, now I can leave

Good to go, done . . . my normal freeway on ramp closed for maintenance, a bit of wandering to turn around, get to the next ramp . . . surprisingly little traffic downtown. oddly empty streets.

almost home. . . 14 miles apart . . . my normal off ramp closed. . . just too funny . . . just a little detour

God Bless Everyone (and Everything) No Exceptions

Should I mention I drove by the Ephiphany School . .  .

Saturday

through mazes of light
i slowly find my way
settling in deeper

Sunday

extinguish the fire
see beyond the flames
seek truth in your heart

Monday

stillness settles
space opens
resonant silence

Tuesday

welcoming the day
new thoughts filtering in
jumping into the future

body in its own rhythm
settling in back from dreams
sitting still not in the equation

Playing Catch-Up

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”  -- Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP


can't remember if I posted this quote before or not - LOL - no matter if I did still like it


wanted to post my words that come up out of meditation everyday - decided I have been more than ready to leave for the park after meditation - the "recreational" computer I use at work doesn't "like" blogger since it's last upgrade so guess I am posting my stored up journaling now - starting with the oldest, can't say I am feeling any are particularly brilliant, they here as markers on my inner journey




awakening light
deep truths stir
slumbering giants arise


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unraveling truths
intertwining paths
light and love


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singing the names of God
sweet soft lullabies
gently rocking my soul

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i am awakening to who i am
i am awakening to who you are
i am awakening to who we are

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softly slowly awaken
names of God resound
intertwined with light


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i am following a path set down long ago
she held the mirror for me to see
so i may reach into my own heart

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shifting stories
complex patterns
quiet reflections 

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spontaneous song
uplifted joy
peaceful realization

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melodious joy
sweeping love
touching God

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rifts of sounds
upsurging spiraling
echoing in God;s ear

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joyous my heart
to behold you in wonder
my soul resonates in you

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depths of my soul
from a song do i reach
relaxed resplendent

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drifting in a timeless realm
forgotten truths swirling
grasping at bare edges

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lulled to sleep
upliftment heavy work
enlightenment another day 

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light and legacy
blood and bones
it is all in the telling  

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open my soul to truth gently
so many made up conundrums
fascinate me with wisdom  

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sleep my fine soul
awaken at leisure
bask in dreams  

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i am out of touch
beyond the edges again
lost in reverie  

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throw yourself into the void
release your identity
relax, breathe, see  

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resurgence of light
filtering through the haze
the darkness set ajar  

awakening the light
calling forth truth
sifting through reality

"A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid any more.”
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

from Tuesday

silence union
moment of stillness
resting in peace

“Feel your emotions,
Live true your passions,
Keep still your mind.”
― Geoffrey M. Gluckman

smell of mugwort wafts up
feeling enriched, peaceful
mind open yet calm

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”- Pema Chödrön

Into The Fire of Life

wake up it is tomorrow
light your soul on fire
taste the love life hands you

Finished reading Letters To A Young Poet - Rilke, Prayers for Strangers - River Jordan
Rilke so good for the soul, Jordan so good for the heart.

I have done a year or twos worth of reading in the past months. Still reading my Michael books (5 in progress - have about 12 Michael books, but not the one I want double ordered the same book by mistake instead of the one I want to be reading most), Poem Crazy, The Way.

Praying for Strangers my favorite feel good book for the year. She makes a resolution to prayer for a stranger everyday. It is not a religious book. It is a book of touching stories. It is about how the act of reaching out, stretching her introverted self changes her, and notating the hunger for simple in the world. Loved it, loved it, loved it.

Jumped right into another book The Kabbalah Code, hooked already. Non=fiction in story form. Thinking about the Hebrews letters being expression of the Creative Fire . . . fire seems to be my elemental path for now.

“Everything in the world has a hidden meaning. . . . Men, animals, trees, stars, they are all hieroglyphics. When you see them you do not understand them. You think they are really men, animals, trees, stars. It is only years later that you understand.”  - Nikos Kazantakis

Circling Truth

myriad of struggles

mine, yours, not mine

but aren't we interconnected

"Prayer is translation. A man translates himself into a child asking for all there is in a language he has barely mastered." Leonard Cohen

chasing after illusions
or sitting still with God
if only it seemed a choice

"Cancer surgeon Bernie Siegel says that to be healthy in body and soul, we need to pursue our own unique way of loving the world" - Susan Chernak McElroy, in Animals as Guides for the Soul

Maybe It Takes A Little Trust

where are the boundaries
my life, your life, "God"
 all interconnected all separate

 Park number 376 yesterday- Sultan River Park - aggravated by perceived injustice it was the perfect to go sit down by the river on the roots of an old tree - exquisite color to the water - love rivers - today the metaphor drifted up - I love rivers because they know where they are from, and where they are going to, they don't question their destiny, they flow  . . .

 I left the river, at an intersection trying to decide which way to turn when at truck went by the wording Jordan River Moving - (now I am reading and greatly loving a book Praying For Strangers - author - River Jordan) my inner voice said "Follow that truck" - of course, ok I will,

 I did. Where did it lead me? To a store, at the exact time to walk right into the same space as the person I was most worried about. . . .

You can't tell me my world isn't magic. . .oh, how can "God" do that so well . . . maybe I could trust there is a bigger plan at hand, I don't in this situation yet emotionally . . . but maybe there is.

 As I tell her the first thing came to my mind about someone far unless competent being promoted her - "it's an atrocity". Being the most word savvy person in my work group, she replies with a chuckle, "a crime against humanity." We have a laugh.

 I read her T-shirt - "I reject your reality and substitute my own." She may not be thrilled but she is doing ok.

 "True and lasting transformation never comes on the heels of threats ultimatums, but in new ways of thinking about the world" - Susan Chernak McElroy, Animals as Guides for the Soul (loved this book, too)

 So, hmm, God are you sure my being stomping mad about something that is happening in somebody else's life won't be made amazingly better by threats, ultimatums, accusatory/blaming/shaming (hadn't quite decided which would be best yet) emails.

 Sigh, are you really sure, really, really sure, because I could really do it, I swear I could.

 And, God, was it you that orchestrated the first words I heard from an old song I love "just let it slide, why don't you just let it slide. . . oh, God, by the way if it was you . . . ah, I really hate to bring this up, but . . . well, you see, ah . . . I . . . I . . . well, I am not sure I know how to do that . . .

Question from Facebook is what's on my mind right now?

Ok, God, now that I have figured out that you are likely to be everywhere, I have another salient point to tackle with you. So just for the sake of argument (what I do that a lot with you, yeah, ok), if I were, by some, miracle to let this issue go, how do I win? How do I prove that I am right?

Really like this song

“As I travel in this limitless
world...every step I take
is my home.” — Dogen

Tina Turner chanting

spinning in patterns
spiderweb caught
truth vs emotions

“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.”

-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet