More Mother Thoughts

late into the night she worked
rose early to feed those in her care
her sacrifice of self for love - mother

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." - Tenneva Jordan


May we remember she who gave us life

Missing Mother

"i want my mommie", she said
looking at me she said, "not really."
why not sometimes I do, too

"I look back on my childhood and thank the stars above.
For everything you gave me, but mostly for your love."
Wayne F. Winters, from Ode to Mom

Yesterday, December 10, I came home tired and little grumpy and randomly picked up the book noted below, and opened to the poem. When Mom Leaves. I was intending to post this yesterday, but I spent most of the day napping and in bed.

I didn't remember until today that yesterday is anniversary date of my mother's death well over a decade ago. What a beautiful synchronicity in randomly selecting this poem I'd hever seen on this anniversary date, and equally sweet what I guess to be my body's response of self-nuturing.

The following poem and the passage it undeer are from a wonderful book I recommend to everyone Healing Conversations by Nance Guilmartin:

When Mom Leaves

When she is gone
in a flash,
unbidden,
there is a loss
like no other.
You see
when Mom leaves
there is a center missing
as if the universe
has lost its gravity.

Everything,
everything falls apart
for awhile
until the universe
of our lives
finds a way
back to center.
And somehow
while there is no force
holding it together
the way it was --
somehow
we are
whole again
in
the
middle
of
it
all.

Grief Unburied

"Grief is like a wave," the counselor said to the television audience. "It comes and goes in its own time."

All gone many years ago. When incident reminds us of our loss, we say to ourselves, You'd think the grief would be over by now. The memorial service was one more reminder that grief isn't something you bury like a casket or something you scatter like ashes. It is, like the television commentator described, something that comes in waves. Sometimes those waves tumble you about, leaving you disoriented. Sometimes those waves of grief pull you down like a surging undertow when you least expect it. Sometimes they throw you up on the shore exhausted. And sometimes they hold you in the cradle of their force, gently carrying you toward the sand.

May we allow ourselves to grieve

over 28,000 have affirmed the Charter for Compassion
over 1,800,000 now have joined me to be citizens of Hopenhagen

Wow, now 10,902 people have posted acts of kindness on Yahoo's Spread Kindness page while I was typing my post it jumped to 12,188 acts. Inspiring.

Chicago - A Mother Journey

"Our purpose here is to wake up, to begin to remember the powerful and loving beings we really are . . . " Shakti Gawain

The building behind the "L" train tracks is where I stayed in the HI-Chicago - youth/family hostel. I can recommend it as an inexpensive place to stay in a safe area right downtown close to Lake Michigan, and many other attractions. I started to post a straightened version of this photo. But even though it's askew, I like this one better.

It's was an interesting time to start at the hostel as there was a marathon on the weekend following my stay. So the hostel was packed, even more than normal, with athletes from around the globe. I do love being surrounded by a litany of different languages.

I spoke to a woman who used to live in Chicago, and then moved to what she referred to as the deep, deep south. She had come back "home" for a visit. She inquired as to why I had come. When I told her it because my mother had been born there, she responded with "ah, you're on a mother journey." Our conversation ended abruptly as she needed to go out. I never saw her again. I felt like she had been placed in my path to make me aware or affirm that I was in the right place. After riding the "L", and wandering around town, I felt I had a better sense of my mother. The city has a different pace, rhythm, feel than where I grew up in southern California. I enjoyed Chicago, riding the "L", and hope to visit again someday as there was a lot more to experience there.

"We search on our journeys, for a self to be, for other selves to love, for work to do . . ." Frederick Buechner

Mother's Flowers - Mother's Home

"Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love." - Fyodor Dostoyensky

Also, discovered on the film from the old disposable camera, were more wonderful gifts - pictures I took on a trip to Chicago - I think that was 2006. I decided to go to visit the city my mother grew up it. I went to find my mother old house. What I found as close to old address as I could figure was an empty lot overgrown with grass. Thinking of my mother, I looked more closely and felt connected to her as I saw a little grouping of small purple flowers. Perfectly poetic.