Desire For Solitude

I finally found a favorite, special quote written by Peter Hoeg from the movie Smilla's Sense of Snow

“I feel the same way about solitude as some people feel about the blessing of the church. It's the light of grace for me. I never close my door behind me without the awareness that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself."

The world around me has felt unsettled this week:

I was unnerved by the drive by shooting at 1 am in my neighborhood last week. So close to where I live, so close to when I come home.

I received a summons for jury duty, but had to request a postponement as we had people on vacation for the scheduled week, and it was the week of a computer system change. Now, I'll go June 21. I pondered wanting to legally past judgement on someone. I am willing to go yet reticent. The only time I served on a jury in the past it was a civil suit - truck and car accident. I was the hold out sitting in a roomful of people whose most fervent desire was to go home for dinner.

We were about to under go the switch over to the new company's computer system when it was announced that it is postponed.

A new quality assurance program started. While I can see the need, most of us aren't comfortable with being under a new microscope.

One co-worker's husband is almost home on leave from a 6 month deployment. She is praying he won't be held up in Kuwait for de-briefing.

One co-worker has almost broken free of a controlling boyfriend. I have seen some of the complications of breakups in the age of social media. In the midst of all the emotional pain of love gone wrong, one must do something about shared Facebook relationships. Then there was the fact the young man sent 9 text messages during a 15 minute break period. And, I learned T-Mobile charges $6 a month to block a number.

Another co-worker received a call from her daughter who was in the Emergency Room. Her daughter, fortunately, survived a car crashed where her Geo was totalled with only bruises (thanks to the airbags).

Another co-worker was the victim of a bump and grab robbery at a Wal-mart. The man made off with wallet, took off in his car, and she took off after him. She chased him down in her car while calling the police. They, of course, told her not to approach the man. She actually forced his car off the road, got out and started pounding on his window yelling, "Give me my f...king wallet back." He finally rolled down the window, and denied having it.
She continued, "Give me my f...king wallet back or I am going f...king drag you out of the car and beat the shit out of you." He relented and gave her back her wallet, and took off.
She went back to Wal-mart to go over the security tapes. Her son and daughter-in-law who, also, work with us were horrified that she went after the guy. You see she's only about 5'4" maybe 120 pounds and in her mid to late 60's. It was hard not to admire her. It was funny hear her normally quiet, reserved daughter-in-law repeat the story colorful language and all. Then in the second or third telling a new fact came out. I was surprised to see how this new twist changed people's feeling about the same event. I was equally interested to see the factor didn't change my feelings. The new twist? The thief was probably at least 70.
Immediately, people made up stories about why a man that age would do something like, he'd probably fallen on hard times. The thief went from being despicable to the being the object of mutterings, "oh the poor man."

Then the "blessings":

 - I stopped on the way to work to bring fresh cookies a co-worker. The man who parked next to me noticed a big rusty nail sticking out of my tire on the passenger side. Kindness begets kindness. Because he stopped to tell me I was able to get the tire replaced before it went flat. It turned out the other tire on the passenger side had problem the a bubble in the sidewall as well. Whew, an easy fix.

I have been listening to a relaxing weight loss visualization by Jon Gabriel as I go to sleep. I noticed that one of the lines mentioned something like you will be supported in healthy eating by people around you. I hadn't said anything to co-workers about the visualization. The second day after listening to it one of my co-workers decided to bring me a healthy home cooked meal. Then three more home cooked meals were brought to me. Someone brought ice cream, Skinny Cow. The last was the most touching. One of my co-workers who telecommutes actually took a bus into the office and brought me a warm home cooked meal for my dinner break. The world is an amazing place.


I got a new cart to wheel groceries in from the car, and a new office chair. I haven't had an office chair at home since I was a kid. I decided both were worthwhile expenditures. And, then the next day, I had an offer I couldn't easily refuse to work an extra day. That will pay for them.

I wasn't going to write anything, but I was inspired after looking at Sandy's pictures and reading Jan's blog with a recounting of her class. Thank you.

Now for a bite of tangerine sherbert, and re-runs of The Patty Duke Show.