Flow?

“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ....get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”― Abraham Joshua Heschel

My plans for my days off - sleep, park, sleep. Sigh, oh yeah - sleep, meditate, park, sleep. Oh, wait.

sleep, chant, prayer, meditate, write, park, shop, nap, and how could I forget it's TV day.

I woke up shivering yesterday I fell in bed exhausted from an emotional week. Forgot to turn on the heat. I do love wrapping up in blankets to meditate anyway. That morning I just couldn't get warm. Oh, well, time for the outer world anyway.

I visited one of the two parks I hoped to see. It wasn't a park I could walk around in, just walk the edge. So I ended up going down to the Sound, a walk on the beach, and sitting on a log. After sitting awhile watching the white caps on the water, the irony surfaced I was happily sitting in an icy wind blowing across the water. I suspect it had to be much colder than the inside of my apartment. So how much of "cold" is psychological or contextual.

Sitting by the Sound, almost like sitting by the ocean, I feel lighter, expanded, connected. So perhaps not so centered in self.

Today, I dug the myself out of my soft, warm bed. A cozy, warm meditation. A journey out to Duvall. Back to the water. a perfect bench next to the Snoqualmie River. One high enough to allow me to comfortably dangle my legs. I suppose being able to dangle my legs brings that feeling of being a carefree child. (Not sure I was one in my younger years.)

I love watching river currents. I was noticing the main body of the water flowing north. There were, also, little whirlpools here and there. Reminded me of my own thoughts falling off track and swirling into themselves.

A few challenging conversations this week. I believe in getting authorization from management to deviate from the norm. The challenge came when there was a disagreement when two of perceived the situation differently. I viewed her as acting without authority, and well she called me chicken. Strange times. We both stuck to own our principles.

She said she found this pattern interesting to observe in me. I struggle with what looks like her audacity. I, finally, said this part of me, my principles were "glued" to my soul. Quick witted, she offered "Solvent?" Nope, I like my principles.

It causes a little extra whirring of those circular thoughts, away from the flowing river of consciousness, and into a pattern I could use solvent for - the need to be right.

"We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." Charlie Chaplin

Water - connecting, swirling, white caps, flow