A Little of Life & Numbers

Trying to release this book since I have read it, not thinking I will read it again. I thought there was a quote I wanted that I am not finding. So only remember the beautiful essence:

believe or do not believe it does not matter, even if you do not believe in the ocean it still exists.

Then, I found this other awesome passage that is so fitting for now as I remember my dance with numbers (which I will post right after my sermonette).

I am remembering when I told a friend I applied for a job with the bank. Thinking she would excited for me. I was totally dumbfounded when she got livid about how stupid it was. She knew first hand I have never kept a check register, actually balanced a checkbook for more than a week or to. (And why should I. If I have $50 and spend $46 should I have around $4 - can remember her gritting her teeth at that one now - WHAT do YOU mean around $4 ??????). Hey, all I can say is that I don't overdraw my account. It has worked for me for decades.

She was just absolutely horrified I would take a job where I had less than no skill. Well, I can tell you how much better my banking skills are today, 1000% better.

So is it wrong or bad that I decided purposefully to take a job where my skills were weaker just so I could strengthened them. I thought it was a brilliant idea. And, when I walked in the front door through the lobby seeing my name of the list at the top for being the best banker in my workgroup is was very, very, very satisfying. So what if I didn't know. I figured I would give my best shot. I do think the fact that I care about the quality of my work matters. And I was the first person in my workshop to ever be evaluated at 100% for the service I gave.

So there my friend. I am sorry it didn't make sense to you. Sometimes you just can't explain your heart to people, and you probably should never have to. That is not about not caring for them you know. But if you aren't you who are they relating to anyway, some shell of you, some illusion of you. Bending to fit is so self-disfiguring (hmm new phrase for me - cool).

Stretching ever slightly into more of who you are, isn't that way better than curling to fit someone's  illusion. Well?

Do I own soapboxes?? Well, not necessarily own. Wouldn't it be nicer to believe God lets me borrow them for awhile for worthy causes.

From the non-fiction book The Bones Of The Master - A Journey To Secret Mongolia by George Crane (a book I loved):

"No time. You know my mind, Georgie. I don't like to see people too much. Too busy. I read. Write.
Thinking. I need do research."

"Research? What kind of research?

"Mathematics. Very special. Very high. Too hard for you."

"Probably." I laughed.

"It is my how-to-make-world education. Comes from I Ching. Many years I do it. Play. Create it."

He tapped his index finger rapidly, dut-dut-dut-dut, on his left palm. "Maybe," he smiled, "I take Nobel Prize."

"Maybe."

"What makes world? Can you answer?

"No."

"Only numbers. Number can calculate world. Time. Snow, rain, semen; everything. Numbers give energy to emptiness."

"Make Buddha?"

"No Buddha produce himself."

"Your right. It is to heard for me."

"Yes. Poetry is your education. Better for you."

I can't give of this book even if I never read it again.