A Little Test - An Opportunity For Wisdom?

I had been pining tonight about working instead of being with Ammachi for Deva Bhava Ceremony. Only happens once a year.

Many years I have had a last minute miracle that allowed me to be there like a co-worker learning from someone I wanted off badly, giving up her plans for me. So very kind.

Or the year someone up there in the company hierarchy called to check on some minor thing. Trying to be nice, asked how I was. I blurted how I really wanted to be a this ceremony that was happened to me. And, she said. Well as remember your staffing is usually  very good on Memorial Day. Would you like to leave now, could you still make it. Again so kind. Such a miracle.

Not today, Ammachi, so what's up, why am I here instead of there. My heart is feeling more open to you than it ever, ever has in over 20 years.

I watched the clock, the pre-ceremony was going to begin only a few hours. People started commenting on being surprised that I was working. Well, me to. They don't understand where go or why. But those who have been here awhile know it is very important to me. So their sweet consolations, thanking me for working today when others called in sick (tempted but don't Ammachi would approve of me doing that either).

So next thing, people hearing want to know what I am missing that is so very important. Who is this Ammachi, and what does she do, what kind ceremony, questions, questions. And a lot of openness, a whole lot.

But now it really almost time. The Teaching Stories are starting. I so love the teachings stories, love them, love them. Want to be there.

Not here.

All of a sudden an external conflict in my pining someone is publicly announcing a mistake they believe I made. Oh, I know I did not do that. I was not on duty. I want to be a kind person, I want to be a non-reactive person. However, I do not mix well with the person. My fuse is lit.

Just as my ire starts to rise.

Two Instant Messages pop simultaneously.   Neither of these people are even in my building to hear me sigh.
One says "Please be kind to her." The other one, different person, "Remember she is responsible for her actions, you for yours."

Ammachi, am I teachable long distance. Maybe. Maybe.

Then an unexpected encounter in the public aisle with the person, and for a brief moment no conflict between us. As I received the sweetest smile.

Is that why I was here today, Amma, instead of with you. I know you were with me.

I didn't even mention that when I was agitated about being here earlier, I managed to dump an entire bottle of one of Amma's sacred oil all over me and my clothing.