Something About Relationships

“There are moments when i wish i could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but i have a feeling that if i did, the joy would be gone as well. So i take the memories as they come, accepting them all, letting them guide me whenever i can.” ― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

It has been an odd thing people all around me in the daughter and mother dynamics. My work to do. Still wishing I had been kinder and more open with my mother. As much as I may feel love and appreciation for her and the lessons she tried to teach me, I ultimately come back to the same point of just not feeling close to her. I do not say this without guilt. It is a guilt I have carried a long time. Perhaps I will set down one day, perhaps not.

Two different friends at work talking to me within a short span of time. One wishing to be left alone, but not willing or able to say so; the other remembering what a blessing her mother was.

At one store, daughter speaking of difficulties with her mom; the next the reverse. The Universe is calling my attention to this issue.

“In each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We’re each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real. We’ve got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there is a lot of grey to work with. No one can live in the light all the time.”   ― Libba Bray