Childhood & My Sacred Bears

 "Bears are not companions of men, but children of God, and His charity is broad enough for both... We seek to establish a narrow line between ourselves and the feathery zeros we dare to call angels, but ask a partition barrier of infinite width to show the rest of creation its proper place. Yet bears are made of the same dust as we, and breathe the same winds and drink of the same waters. A bears days are warmed by the same sun, his dwellings are overdomed by the same blue sky, and his life turns and ebbs with heart-pulsings like ours and was poured from the same fountain....." - John Muir

I remember bear as an important animal from my childhood. One of the most tender memories I have of my father is him drawing pictures of teddy bears on my thumbnail. Today, it's hard for me to imagine I sat still that long. Now I wonder was it my father's unusual tenderness, calm and focus? Or was it watching the magic of having an animal come to life right on my hand. Either way I think it was a bigger gift than either of us knew.

Then like many others I remember my first teddy bear which went everywhere until it was so tattered my mother was begging me to give it up. I still remember going to the five and dime in redondo beach, calif. to get the replacement while still trying to convince my mother how wrong she was.

Then there was a teddy like bear not like my "real" one in color. Somehow it was named brownie. This caused me a bit of confusion when I met my step-grandfather's sister brownie.

When I was sorting through my drawing one day I noticed that I have drawn bears far more than any other animal. Is it an unconscious link to my childhood or it is a manifestation of a spirit animal who looks after me. I think maybe it is both, and fine with me.

cup of the sacred
splash of the ordinary
sprinkle of the absurd

"Direct your eye right inward, and you'll find a thousand regions in your mind yet undiscovered. Travel them and be expert in home-cosmography." - Henry David Thoreau