shown many gates
which shall I choose
knowledge appears everywhere
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
― Socrates
― Socrates
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized
by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you
are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a
feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that
the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” – George Bernard
Shaw
“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.” – Alfred Adler
I was heading towards a new park earlier in the week, anticipation rising - will I find it, will there be parking, will I find it (LOL- way big question - Thursday, I didn't find the 1st, 2nd, and 4th park I was looking for). Oh, and I didn't find it until I gave up, was headed back to work. But I did see other cool parks I did. And saved targeted park for another day.
I found a route I like that takes me down a pleasing winding road through park of Washington Park. Every time, I gasp internally "oh, how beautiful as I drive down this section of tree lined road.
I had this thought that all these trips were deepening the affection I had not so much for nature but for the home I have chosen. Finding a stronger connection for these beautiful cities as the various nooks and crannies became a part of my awareness. Learning some of the streets, views, stores.
I do love living in the Pacific Northwest. It is so beautiful, so easy to touch and reach nature, to see the blue sky of the sound and the ocean. Mountains all around. Just a gorgeous place indeed.
I was heading towards a new park earlier in the week, anticipation rising - will I find it, will there be parking, will I find it (LOL- way big question - Thursday, I didn't find the 1st, 2nd, and 4th park I was looking for). Oh, and I didn't find it until I gave up, was headed back to work. But I did see other cool parks I did. And saved targeted park for another day.
I found a route I like that takes me down a pleasing winding road through park of Washington Park. Every time, I gasp internally "oh, how beautiful as I drive down this section of tree lined road.
I had this thought that all these trips were deepening the affection I had not so much for nature but for the home I have chosen. Finding a stronger connection for these beautiful cities as the various nooks and crannies became a part of my awareness. Learning some of the streets, views, stores.
I do love living in the Pacific Northwest. It is so beautiful, so easy to touch and reach nature, to see the blue sky of the sound and the ocean. Mountains all around. Just a gorgeous place indeed.
Friday, June 28, 2013
cool pictures of a city built into side of mountain shared with me
The photos are stunningly breathtaking to say the very least! They're best to look at in wide screen... just click through the many photos with the arrow to the right. (A little scenic informational 'adventure' for you... a different kind of a stroll in the park you could say!) LOL http://www.flixxy.com/china-mountain-city.htm
The photos are stunningly breathtaking to say the very least! They're best to look at in wide screen... just click through the many photos with the arrow to the right. (A little scenic informational 'adventure' for you... a different kind of a stroll in the park you could say!) LOL http://www.flixxy.com/china-mountain-city.htm
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
atill stretching to understand
so much beyond my ken
relax breathe relax Still amazingly getting up and starting my day with meditation, mantra, prayer, studying, studying and studying. . . if only I could retain it all. Have wonderful insights. . . too many to retain or integrate. Sigh. Oh, well. lots of fun moments of wow, I didn't know that, and hmm wow so interesting. One moment of joy at time. “When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” - Rumi
so much beyond my ken
relax breathe relax Still amazingly getting up and starting my day with meditation, mantra, prayer, studying, studying and studying. . . if only I could retain it all. Have wonderful insights. . . too many to retain or integrate. Sigh. Oh, well. lots of fun moments of wow, I didn't know that, and hmm wow so interesting. One moment of joy at time. “When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” - Rumi
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
Knudsen Park
Today's Park Knudsen Park aka Julia Lee's Park
very pretty, peaceful, well taken care of memorial for Julia Lee Knudsen
picutre from Metropolitan Gardens website
“The many great gardens of the world, of literature and poetry, of painting and music, of religion and architecture, all make the point as clear as possible: The soul cannot thrive in the absence of a garden. If you don't want paradise, you are not human; and if you are not human, you don't have a soul.”
Thomas More
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
by the miracle of Facebook chat my friends Julie and Lisa saved me from all the email notifications early this morning. . . a fledging Facebooker am I, still wary in unkown territory. . .
“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.” Jiddu Krishnamurti
My park for the day, GAR (Grand Army of the Republic) Cemetery
The GAR cemetery is located in the north of the Capitol Hill neighborhood. 526 graves and a monument memorialize veterans of the Civil War. A small green space lies adjacent to the memorial site.
“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.” Jiddu Krishnamurti
My park for the day, GAR (Grand Army of the Republic) Cemetery
The GAR cemetery is located in the north of the Capitol Hill neighborhood. 526 graves and a monument memorialize veterans of the Civil War. A small green space lies adjacent to the memorial site.
Ok, thanks to everyone who said yes to my friend request for FB. However, I am already finding it overwhelming. Got to go figure out how not to emails ev4ry time someone posts something.
So does everyone get notified every time I post something. I am hoping not.
Posted my first picture directly to Facebook from my phone. However, couldn't tell anything about the quality of the picture. Guess will that out next.
Been a tiring day, two small parks, nice fresh air. Feeling the full moon. More books are poised in the car, and along with a few other items for a trip to Goodwill.
It was a good night to cull out files - full moon releasing.
softly tired
lightly cleansing
slightly balanced
So does everyone get notified every time I post something. I am hoping not.
Posted my first picture directly to Facebook from my phone. However, couldn't tell anything about the quality of the picture. Guess will that out next.
Been a tiring day, two small parks, nice fresh air. Feeling the full moon. More books are poised in the car, and along with a few other items for a trip to Goodwill.
It was a good night to cull out files - full moon releasing.
softly tired
lightly cleansing
slightly balanced
from uuaa.org
Some beliefs are like walled gardens. They encourage exclusiveness, and the
feeling of being especially privileged.
Other beliefs are expansive and lead the way into wider and deeper sympa-
thies.
Some beliefs are like shadows, clouding children’s days with fears of unknown
calamities.
Other beliefs are like sunshine, blessing children with the warmth of happiness.
Some beliefs are divisive, separating the saved from the unsaved, friends from
enemies.
Other beliefs are bonds in a world community, where sincere differences beau-
tify the pattern
Some beliefs are like blinders, shutting off the power to choose one’s own di-
rection.
Other beliefs are like gateways opening wide vistas for exploration.
Some beliefs weaken a person’s selfhood. They blight the growth of resource-
fulness.
Other beliefs nurture self-confidence and enrich the feeling of personal worth.
Some beliefs are rigid, like the body of death, impotent in a changing world
.
Other beliefs are pliable, like the young sapling, ever growing with the upward
thrust of life.
–Sophia Lyon Fahs
Some beliefs are like walled gardens. They encourage exclusiveness, and the
feeling of being especially privileged.
Other beliefs are expansive and lead the way into wider and deeper sympa-
thies.
Some beliefs are like shadows, clouding children’s days with fears of unknown
calamities.
Other beliefs are like sunshine, blessing children with the warmth of happiness.
Some beliefs are divisive, separating the saved from the unsaved, friends from
enemies.
Other beliefs are bonds in a world community, where sincere differences beau-
tify the pattern
Some beliefs are like blinders, shutting off the power to choose one’s own di-
rection.
Other beliefs are like gateways opening wide vistas for exploration.
Some beliefs weaken a person’s selfhood. They blight the growth of resource-
fulness.
Other beliefs nurture self-confidence and enrich the feeling of personal worth.
Some beliefs are rigid, like the body of death, impotent in a changing world
.
Other beliefs are pliable, like the young sapling, ever growing with the upward
thrust of life.
–Sophia Lyon Fahs
Friday, June 21, 2013
Deep Space Video
This is a very cool video shared with me by Divyam. Enya & Deep Space go well together. Thank you.
Forbes Creek Park
picture fromhttp://parksofkirkland.com
Feeling the inertia yesterday after a long sleep, raining outside, not sure which direction to go for my park visit. With the change of weather, feeling the arthritis is my bones. But you know what I decided last year, it is going to be there whether I move or not.
Very slowly eased into the day. Reading, studying, praying, meditating, chanting, even some exercise.
I so love that it stays lighter later. I can lollygag and still make it to a park or two.
Went to Forbes Creek Park strictly unintended destination just mapless wandering. Found and stopped at another park in Kirkland, definitely a park - benches - playground equipment - no sign - no name.
Oh well, I may or may not identify it. Still counts LOL.
And I can tell you I was pretty darn wet at the end of my two parks jaunts, there was a third patch of land with a cool sculpture that may or may not be designated as a "park". . . more to investigate.
Feeling the inertia yesterday after a long sleep, raining outside, not sure which direction to go for my park visit. With the change of weather, feeling the arthritis is my bones. But you know what I decided last year, it is going to be there whether I move or not.
Very slowly eased into the day. Reading, studying, praying, meditating, chanting, even some exercise.
I so love that it stays lighter later. I can lollygag and still make it to a park or two.
Went to Forbes Creek Park strictly unintended destination just mapless wandering. Found and stopped at another park in Kirkland, definitely a park - benches - playground equipment - no sign - no name.
Oh well, I may or may not identify it. Still counts LOL.
And I can tell you I was pretty darn wet at the end of my two parks jaunts, there was a third patch of land with a cool sculpture that may or may not be designated as a "park". . . more to investigate.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
-- Elizabeth Gilbert
find my phone right after I bought the new one. had to by the new one the updated model of my Fusion (just love the name), it was on sale, and the person who came to help me was named Angel.
Two phones for the person who calls n one - ironic world is it not?
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Firehouse Mini Park
Park of the day - Firehouse Mini Park
This picture is from a wonderful blog I discovered called A Year of Seattle Parks. Very exciting someone on a similar journey. And better than that some of her directions have helped me find the entrance or locations of some of the parks that are bit tricky.
This picture is from a wonderful blog I discovered called A Year of Seattle Parks. Very exciting someone on a similar journey. And better than that some of her directions have helped me find the entrance or locations of some of the parks that are bit tricky.
Earthen
earthen made
blood and bones
repository
“The body is the instrument of our hold on the world.”- Simone de Beauvoir
“The final mystery is oneself.” Oscar Wilde
disheveled weary
student of life, lives
at the edge of ?
"I feel as though I have lived many lives, experienced the heights and depths of each and like the waves of the ocean, never known rest. Throughout the years, I looked always for the unusual, for the wonderful, for the mysteries at the heart of life.” - Leni Riefenstahl
So much to learn, see, experience even after all this time.
disheveled weary
student of life, lives
at the edge of ?
"I feel as though I have lived many lives, experienced the heights and depths of each and like the waves of the ocean, never known rest. Throughout the years, I looked always for the unusual, for the wonderful, for the mysteries at the heart of life.” - Leni Riefenstahl
So much to learn, see, experience even after all this time.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Viretta Park
Picture courtesy of Seattle Parks site, will post mine later with June photos.
Another nice warm park jaunt.
From Wikipedia
It was named by Charles L. Denny after his wife, Viretta Jackson Denny. It is located to the South of the former home of Kurt Cobain, where he died.
Coming into work, encountered manager of our department. I was bragging about having been to a park everyday since December 23. And she delighted me by immediately asking, "A different park each time?" Yes, good question. Then she went on to share about a park she had visited that I have not been to yet on Queen Anne Hill.
Very cool.
Another nice warm park jaunt.
From Wikipedia
It was named by Charles L. Denny after his wife, Viretta Jackson Denny. It is located to the South of the former home of Kurt Cobain, where he died.
Coming into work, encountered manager of our department. I was bragging about having been to a park everyday since December 23. And she delighted me by immediately asking, "A different park each time?" Yes, good question. Then she went on to share about a park she had visited that I have not been to yet on Queen Anne Hill.
Very cool.
Made it
Here's the sign that now decorates my office cube, makes me happy. Have to get a new one from home:
If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. Yay, a Monday with only one minor disaster, and no conflict.
Close to curling up snuggling in safe. warm comfy, yep, time to rest.
long days journey
hopefully to warm hearts
peaceful loving arms
If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. Yay, a Monday with only one minor disaster, and no conflict.
Close to curling up snuggling in safe. warm comfy, yep, time to rest.
long days journey
hopefully to warm hearts
peaceful loving arms
Monday, June 17, 2013
All Good Today - Well Almost
Today, I am playing well with others, and them with me.
Had a peaceful time in the warm sun at Homer Harris Park. My pictures will be posted later.
Now, if I could only find my phone. Never heard me say that before LOL. Apparently, my credit card number has been compromised. New card can be activated through home phone number. Oh, well.
Still a pretty good day.
Still Standing
"There's a good kind of crazy, Kaylee," he insisted softly, reaching out
to wrap his warm hand around mine. "It's the kind that makes you think
about things that make your head hurt, because not thinking about them
is the coward's way out. The kind that makes you touch people who bruise
your soul, just because they need to be touched. This is the kind of
crazy that lets you stare out into the darkness and rage at eternity,
while it stares back at you, ready to swallow you whole."
Tod leaned closer, staring into my eyes so intently I was sure he could see everything I was thinking, but too afraid to say. "I've seen you fight, Kaylee. I've seen you step into that darkness for someone else, then claw your way out, bruised, but still standing. You're that kind of crazy, and I live in that darkness. Together, we'd take crazy to a whole new level.” -- Rachel Vincent, If I Die
I know this story. Thank you, God, Great Spirit, Tao. I am so grateful for all that you given me, and for letting me come out of it all still standng.
Tod leaned closer, staring into my eyes so intently I was sure he could see everything I was thinking, but too afraid to say. "I've seen you fight, Kaylee. I've seen you step into that darkness for someone else, then claw your way out, bruised, but still standing. You're that kind of crazy, and I live in that darkness. Together, we'd take crazy to a whole new level.” -- Rachel Vincent, If I Die
I know this story. Thank you, God, Great Spirit, Tao. I am so grateful for all that you given me, and for letting me come out of it all still standng.
Journeys
journeys of the heart
soft, caring cautious
tender vulnerable beginnings
Remembering I actually have 4 friends traveling or about to travel. Big journeys of the heart and soul.
“Didn't they realize that the only way to change things was to act?” - Tamora Pierce
They did, they did indeed.
So Enjoying My Henna Tattoo
widening my beliefs
opening my heart
making room for you
Amazing how doing some small thing can be so satisfying. I have been so enjoying my tattoo.
Had fun watching a co-workers eyes widen in surprise. "I didn't know YOU had tattoos.
Yes, little ol' me. I had wondering now if I would be equally surprised if I notated a tattoo on her arm.
While I kinda hope not, can't say for sure.
We seem to slot people into, oh, I don't know categories. Thinking how many times we say, I wouldn't think he or she would do that. Obviously, we seem to set up constructs about who people are. Just interesting thoughts.
We can't imagine someone driving a red car. Why not? Doesn't fit with the slot we put them in, what we know of them.
I claim it is the Aquarian in me that likes to shake things up. say the unexpected, help people break any part of their stereotypes.
However, I still do the same. I am remembering being surprised after the recent spiritual talk withSadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.
I was having a lovely conversation with an East Indian woman. She said "well you know how it is like that country western song, "Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to go now." Such a small thing. I just didn't expect her or anyone to quote a country western song in that context. Why not? I even listen to and love lots of country songs.
So, hmmm, I guess that could make prayer for today to have a more open mind. We are all so unique. May I learn to honor the truth that we are all unique human beings with infinite permutations.
Now permutation of my tattoo
opening my heart
making room for you
Amazing how doing some small thing can be so satisfying. I have been so enjoying my tattoo.
Had fun watching a co-workers eyes widen in surprise. "I didn't know YOU had tattoos.
Yes, little ol' me. I had wondering now if I would be equally surprised if I notated a tattoo on her arm.
While I kinda hope not, can't say for sure.
We seem to slot people into, oh, I don't know categories. Thinking how many times we say, I wouldn't think he or she would do that. Obviously, we seem to set up constructs about who people are. Just interesting thoughts.
We can't imagine someone driving a red car. Why not? Doesn't fit with the slot we put them in, what we know of them.
I claim it is the Aquarian in me that likes to shake things up. say the unexpected, help people break any part of their stereotypes.
However, I still do the same. I am remembering being surprised after the recent spiritual talk withSadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.
I was having a lovely conversation with an East Indian woman. She said "well you know how it is like that country western song, "Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to go now." Such a small thing. I just didn't expect her or anyone to quote a country western song in that context. Why not? I even listen to and love lots of country songs.
So, hmmm, I guess that could make prayer for today to have a more open mind. We are all so unique. May I learn to honor the truth that we are all unique human beings with infinite permutations.
Now permutation of my tattoo
Peaceful Day
my heart walks its own path
and listens in the distance for echoes
rssonance of other hearts one beat away
″A traveler without observation is a bird without wings.” – Moslih Eddin Saadi
Thinking of my traveling friends who are now three. Funny, I feel that home is where I belong at the moment myself. Each on their important journeys.
And, I, on my own internal path, still many a park to see.
But when I do travel this quote would be for me:
“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark
A long, peaceful day.
and listens in the distance for echoes
rssonance of other hearts one beat away
″A traveler without observation is a bird without wings.” – Moslih Eddin Saadi
Thinking of my traveling friends who are now three. Funny, I feel that home is where I belong at the moment myself. Each on their important journeys.
And, I, on my own internal path, still many a park to see.
But when I do travel this quote would be for me:
“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark
A long, peaceful day.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
messages spinning through networks
light passing information forth like prayer
humanity's heart opens further to truth
“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” - Mahatma Gandhi
light passing information forth like prayer
humanity's heart opens further to truth
“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” - Mahatma Gandhi
anchored light
shifts consciousness
hearts are uplifted
" God is always working through you; the important thing is to become conscious and co-operate. " Mother Meera
shifts consciousness
hearts are uplifted
" God is always working through you; the important thing is to become conscious and co-operate. " Mother Meera
Saturday, June 15, 2013
“When I was a little girl, everything in the world fell into either of
these two categories: wrong or right. Black or white. Now that I am an
adult, I have put childish things aside and now I know that some things
fall into wrong and some things fall into right. Some things are
categorized as black and some things are categorized as white. But most
things in the world aren't either! Most things in the world aren't
black, aren't white, aren't wrong, aren't right, but most of everything
is just different. And now I know that there's nothing wrong with
different, and that we can let things be different, we don't have to try
and make them black or white, we can just let them be grey. And when I
was a child, I thought that God was the God who only saw black and
white. Now that I am no longer a child, I can see, that God is the God
who can see the black and the white and the grey, too, and He dances on
the grey! Grey is okay.”
-- C. JoyBell C.
May We Be Kind
serpentine thoughts
settling into center
basking into contentment
radio on waking this am - "I'd take a grenade for you".
Well, hmm. Guess some part of my brain is still thinking about my brave young friend bullied into dropping out of the last few months of high school. At least, she is a lucky one in having loving support of a large family. Can you imagine? They love her, every part of her and her life. Thank God. And yet, the unsolicited hatred and ignorance stills placed deepscars on a sweet, loving, tender heart.
So fun, this morning waking up the a henna tattoo on my arm. "Mom"(my friend Julie) let us all get tattoos at the fair yesterday. LOL. I really wanted the one painted from my ear down the side of my face. However, I think the wise aritist quickly surmised the issue, you know you have to sit really still if I do it there (oh . . . shoot). This morning I am grlad it is on my arm where I can have fun admiring it.
Understand if I am really careful, it can last 4-5 weeks otherwise I should have it for 2-3 weeks. What fun. I have learned Tiger Balm preserves it so I shall likely smell like Tiger Balm for a few weeks. Already nice by the cashier in the market last night. Fun.
there's mine
Jamie
Lisa
Celebrating a friend's birthday. I had a great time with dancing, singing along with the band, visiting with friends. Having my first chai slushie (they called it blended chai). As Lisa asked are you sure you don't want the blended one?? So fun to be allowed into family mode, perusing one anothers food, what YOU gonna get, different for an only child. Getting proper strokes for ponying up an sharing some of my food. Loving family mode ever so sweet, funny, and inclusive.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Love is Love is Love
Posting this song for my brave young friend. You love. So hard to understand how love angers and scares people. I don't understand how someone loving someone of the same sex can become the target of bullying, meanness, be pushed to fear and self-doubt. How in the world have we strayed so far from having open. loving hearts. What is with us.
So grateful. all my life, no matter what forms my relationships have taken, I have always had love and support of friendships, colleague. Relationships, young love, so tender anyway.
Guess we all need more love to help keep our hearts open. I pray that I may keep my heart open even when I may not understand . . . I pray that I do not run or turn from the different or differences
So grateful. all my life, no matter what forms my relationships have taken, I have always had love and support of friendships, colleague. Relationships, young love, so tender anyway.
Guess we all need more love to help keep our hearts open. I pray that I may keep my heart open even when I may not understand . . . I pray that I do not run or turn from the different or differences
New To Me
I was the recipient of an extremely escalated call, misdirected, the gentleman needed help from an entirely different company. After many rounds of prolific swearing (unappeased, by empathy, apologies that the call was misdirected, by the fact we have nothing to do with fruit shipments), his voice rose to a crescendo. "Well, someone is greasing up the wrong monkey here."
Thank god, I am sorry the man was able to get what he needed. However, I am excited to get a phrase I have never heard before.
Overheard, a woman not being able to access what she wanted in a vending machine:
"How the hell do they expect me to be spiritual if they cut me off from my food source>"
Indeed, an interesting life.
Thank god, I am sorry the man was able to get what he needed. However, I am excited to get a phrase I have never heard before.
Overheard, a woman not being able to access what she wanted in a vending machine:
"How the hell do they expect me to be spiritual if they cut me off from my food source>"
Indeed, an interesting life.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
"People You Need"
aha, I guess so
"People you Need"
(by: anonymous)
The Universe doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you NEED
- To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person
you were meant to be.
"People you Need"
(by: anonymous)
The Universe doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you NEED
- To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person
you were meant to be.
"A Friendship Blessing" - Donohue
"A Friendship Blessing"
(by: John Donohue from “Anam Cara“)
May you be blessed with good friends
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul
Where there is great love, warmth .feeling and forgiveness
May this change you
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant or cold in you
May you be brought into, the real passion, kinship and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends
May you be good to them
And may you be there for them
And may you be there for them
May they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth and light
That you need for your journey
May you never be isolated
But may you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your “soul friend”
Grateful
Grateful for the many blessings of great, good, loving friends, tender hearts of passing strangers, moments of shared compassion, joy, grief, anger at injustice - moments we actually touch each other, and the wisdom, strength, compassion of co-workers.
Like everyone, yes like everyone, I have had my struggles, times life has caught me unaware, times someone attributes interesting motives to my behavior or my lack of skill, lack of awareness. I am so so so far from be being perfect, I can be given to moments of arrogance, too much self-absorption (my only child status at work?).
However, I, also, claim trying to better myself, trying to grab hold of kindness, and hold it closer each day. Never a fan of the don't try, just do it. All I can do is try. No more.
And try I shall, and do so until I can go no further up against the wall of my ability, ignorance or lack of understanding.
Do I just give up sometimes, yep, sometimes. Sometimes I have to stop. Sometimes I have to patch the holes caused by misunderstanding. Sometimes I just have breakdown and cry, shake my head and wonder. Part of the human experience is it not.
Hardened hearts scraping tender souls. I believe I have been on both sides of that equation. "Lord. make me an instrument of thy peace." Please, please.
So I am guessing I still need the mirrors of the inconsiderate, the accusing, the jumping to unwarranted conclusions. Not only do I need this to help break open my heart, but to flash before me my own ignorance when I act in the same manner.
How can you really know all that lies behind an "inconsiderate" action, what fear, what world, what worries. How can you know that the person who bumped you aside had a sick child or something compelling on their mind. Why attribute it to rudeness? Reflex action.
Oh, god, please help me make my reflex action be kindness. Maybe, just maybe that is what you have been trying to do. If so, I am grateful. If not, I am grateful.
(But God, on a TV side note, very disappointing to have this be the week they captured John, and he didn't get away. Very disappointing. That kind of week I guess. Still grateful though, very grateful.)
Like everyone, yes like everyone, I have had my struggles, times life has caught me unaware, times someone attributes interesting motives to my behavior or my lack of skill, lack of awareness. I am so so so far from be being perfect, I can be given to moments of arrogance, too much self-absorption (my only child status at work?).
However, I, also, claim trying to better myself, trying to grab hold of kindness, and hold it closer each day. Never a fan of the don't try, just do it. All I can do is try. No more.
And try I shall, and do so until I can go no further up against the wall of my ability, ignorance or lack of understanding.
Do I just give up sometimes, yep, sometimes. Sometimes I have to stop. Sometimes I have to patch the holes caused by misunderstanding. Sometimes I just have breakdown and cry, shake my head and wonder. Part of the human experience is it not.
Hardened hearts scraping tender souls. I believe I have been on both sides of that equation. "Lord. make me an instrument of thy peace." Please, please.
So I am guessing I still need the mirrors of the inconsiderate, the accusing, the jumping to unwarranted conclusions. Not only do I need this to help break open my heart, but to flash before me my own ignorance when I act in the same manner.
How can you really know all that lies behind an "inconsiderate" action, what fear, what world, what worries. How can you know that the person who bumped you aside had a sick child or something compelling on their mind. Why attribute it to rudeness? Reflex action.
Oh, god, please help me make my reflex action be kindness. Maybe, just maybe that is what you have been trying to do. If so, I am grateful. If not, I am grateful.
(But God, on a TV side note, very disappointing to have this be the week they captured John, and he didn't get away. Very disappointing. That kind of week I guess. Still grateful though, very grateful.)
"I said to the Man" Poem
From Gentle Healing Touch
"I said to the Man"
(by: anonymous)
I said to the man
who stood at the gate
of the year, “Give me
a light that I may tread
safely into the unknown.”
And he replied, “Go out
into the darkness and
put your hand into the
hand of God. That shall
be to you better than
light and safer than
a known way.”
"I said to the Man"
(by: anonymous)
I said to the man
who stood at the gate
of the year, “Give me
a light that I may tread
safely into the unknown.”
And he replied, “Go out
into the darkness and
put your hand into the
hand of God. That shall
be to you better than
light and safer than
a known way.”
Rested & Happy
saturated with their sadness
grateful to withdraw back to
comfortably curled up
this is a most lovely time of day for breakfast - sweet cherries fresh goat cheese, warm chai to follow shortly.
I am so often a better day sleeper. Has made me wonder if it is because the dreamworlds are so much quiter, much easier to roam to my hearts content. So many lovely dreams and dreamspaces.
opening to infinite dimensions
filled with soft winged angels
encompassing spans of "time"
hmmm, maybe warm bread with ghee
relaxed nourished happy, studies done, prayers spoken with satisfaction, clarity in meditation, resonance in chanting, blessings offered, rhythmic movement
LOL I been good, I am so watching my guy John save the world on TV.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Sunrise On The Water
A lovely thing about working graveyard is the sun was on the verge of coming up when I left work. Then I had this wonderful idea go to the park before I went home. I can tell you 5 amish is a great time to visit the Olympic Sculpture Park. Even to visit the adjoining Myrtle Edwards Park. There got sit and watch the ferries and ships. A perfect place a the edge of the sound to mingle with Great Spirit, chant, meditate. Most fun of all singing scales.
traces of discomfort
residual fear ebbing
breath and stand forth
or
the tidal wave
brings new ground
stand on it
More Settled
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” Harvey Fierstein
I so love working graveyard, and I so love working 10 hour days when it includes graveyard. So peaceful, all alone in a quiet space. And I can sing to my hearts content. Yep, I can. Very good for soul.
And a different young co-worker was intrigued enough to discuss fitness routines, kayak, kite boarding, wind surfing, volleyball, soccer. Now that was fun. Having some not presume I wasn't interested. Very nice.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Still Good But Weary
bone tired of being
too slow for "you"
can you not see my heart
"People started saying, 'Oh you know, he's quicker than he looks', and I'm like, 'What does that mean? Do I look slow, or I'm not really sure what that means." Jeremy Lin
So do I say I am sorry that I am slower than I look. Heavy sigh here. The sun came up, my heart has a lovely rhythm, I see green trees outside with wind ruffling their leaves. Bet no one never tells them they are too slow. Well, actually, bet they do.
So because I have so much to learn about tolerance many of my clients today have been extremely slow the traumatized, the injured, the ones I suspect were, also, born at a different pace.
Oh, Great Spirit help me understand, accept and be more loving. Thank you.
radio - live on and be yourself - (hmm yep that is all there is) I can't change even if I tried and even if I wanted to - song is about a different prejudice still fits for now So many blessing many I see them
too slow for "you"
can you not see my heart
"People started saying, 'Oh you know, he's quicker than he looks', and I'm like, 'What does that mean? Do I look slow, or I'm not really sure what that means." Jeremy Lin
So do I say I am sorry that I am slower than I look. Heavy sigh here. The sun came up, my heart has a lovely rhythm, I see green trees outside with wind ruffling their leaves. Bet no one never tells them they are too slow. Well, actually, bet they do.
So because I have so much to learn about tolerance many of my clients today have been extremely slow the traumatized, the injured, the ones I suspect were, also, born at a different pace.
Oh, Great Spirit help me understand, accept and be more loving. Thank you.
radio - live on and be yourself - (hmm yep that is all there is) I can't change even if I tried and even if I wanted to - song is about a different prejudice still fits for now So many blessing many I see them
Kabbalah
Today's Kabbalah lesson from the Way by Michael Berg:
"There's something very liberating about taking the first step towards acknowledging our need for the Creator's help. (there it is my next step)
The next step is to ask for it. This tool is an acknowledgment of a power outside ourselves and move away from a purely ego-based existence. But asking is more active than merely needing. Asking represents a more proactive step in our relationship with the Creator."
Thank you, Great Spirit, I shall go to the ocean and listen to the wind.
Little Worn But Good
blindsided
heart rent
sigh
radio - rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Still pondering at being blinddsided by someone so angry at me. Guessing is the blindsided part I can't twist my mind around. Feeling like a failed to protect myself, somehow missed missed important clues. Guessing it triggers bone-held memories of the past. Oh, Amma I truly did not want this challenge. And the probability, I may be able to officially ignore it. Being absolved of doing anything wrong just won't cleanse the fear or make the other person any happier.
radio - my life brillant, my love is pure I saw an angel of that I sure . . . oh, I this remember this song,
I do believe thier is a cry in his voice
radio - turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Hmm, well, I suppose. It just better not get slapped again. Guess I am angry, and slide there right after I get past the tears.
Imagine on the radio again, thank you John, turned up way loud
Thinking here is the contents of my mind on a page, strange
LOL - radio Beatles - stuck inside these four walls
Must be time for the park. I am so grateful to have the honor of working later today. I will ge to work until 3 am. That is a piece of my day that makes me happy. I, actually, love a ten hour workday best of all.
A little extra time to practicing turning my cheek . . . however I might wear "shin guards" today. Life is in fact good.
And should find out today if I get the beautiful, large desk in a quiet corner next to
the person with the best work ethics.
Oh, dear, I shall have to turn off the radio - hit me with your best shot - hmm not a good song, ah jusr switched to Desperado - that is my song
once again, don't remember if I posted this, oh well, life is still good and today's journey has touched the sorrow in my heart
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Albert Einstein
Somedays trying your best just doesn't cut. God bless resilence, and new days.
The birds are singing outside my window, I have every reason to believe the sun is coming up . . .
and the bowl of I didn't burn will be delicious. So life is good.
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Albert Einstein
Somedays trying your best just doesn't cut. God bless resilence, and new days.
The birds are singing outside my window, I have every reason to believe the sun is coming up . . .
and the bowl of I didn't burn will be delicious. So life is good.
Monday, June 10, 2013
and here is where I am
Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
-John Wooden
And I still have not figured out if I actually found the park was looking for yesterday. No picture or map can tell me if I was actually there in the spot called park. I have to go back. Shall see. I think I was probably in a part of it, but. .. so interesting
Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
-John Wooden
And I still have not figured out if I actually found the park was looking for yesterday. No picture or map can tell me if I was actually there in the spot called park. I have to go back. Shall see. I think I was probably in a part of it, but. .. so interesting
Movements
Fun for my day, listening to my MP3 playing my imaginary drums to the song, startled one of the kids a work.
Moving forward, decided to go into one of the conference rooms, and practice my wobbly karate kicks, neglected to notice someone else had sequestered themselves in the room for the break. We looked at one another. He said, "Well who do YOU think it more scared you or me?" Him. I think we agreed.
I decided to share. Surprise. True people don't expect me to know karate. One was actually not surprised. She gets an A plus for being open minded about almost everything (except poor work ethics). So she is willing to talk fitness with me. Told her no one talks to me about it, I am guessing I don't fit the stereotype.
I am older than the whole lot, not sure if I am the least fit actually. I am in determined mode at the moment. Determinated to make incremental improvements. (this is where I stopped to try a few more kicks, definitely needs work - balance board first.
Don't the author of this one
The human body is designed to walk, run, jump, and dance. Basically we were made to move.
Moving . . .
moving on the infinite plain
moving sliding gliding
perhaps inhabiting my body
wow - radio just starting playing Ms. Womack's I Hope You Dance
In sync whew
"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance." This is such a great song. All the lyrics.
Moving forward, decided to go into one of the conference rooms, and practice my wobbly karate kicks, neglected to notice someone else had sequestered themselves in the room for the break. We looked at one another. He said, "Well who do YOU think it more scared you or me?" Him. I think we agreed.
I decided to share. Surprise. True people don't expect me to know karate. One was actually not surprised. She gets an A plus for being open minded about almost everything (except poor work ethics). So she is willing to talk fitness with me. Told her no one talks to me about it, I am guessing I don't fit the stereotype.
I am older than the whole lot, not sure if I am the least fit actually. I am in determined mode at the moment. Determinated to make incremental improvements. (this is where I stopped to try a few more kicks, definitely needs work - balance board first.
Don't the author of this one
The human body is designed to walk, run, jump, and dance. Basically we were made to move.
Moving . . .
moving on the infinite plain
moving sliding gliding
perhaps inhabiting my body
wow - radio just starting playing Ms. Womack's I Hope You Dance
In sync whew
"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance." This is such a great song. All the lyrics.
What ADHD Feels Like - Sarah Keyer Article
I was looking for a different article for a co-worker who was brave enough to share her issue with ADHD with me. Bravo, brave lady. So am posting it here. Not the one I was looking for. But I can find this one again.
from http://www.addresources.org/?q=node/2042
ADHD Symptoms - What ADHD Feels Like
How the brain with ADHD relates to behavioral symptoms
by ADHD Coach,
Sarah Jane Keyser
ADHD symptoms start in the brain. The brain is a complex organism with many parts like the limbic system, the prefrontal cortex, the caudate nucleus…Uh oh, I've already lost you. Words like that are better than the snooze button, so lets talk about something you are more familiar with: a car.
• You take a firm grip on the steering wheel (prefrontal cortex of your brain) to go left and right to your destination. With ADHD you may feel that your steering wheel doesn't work. You set out to buy groceries instead you find yourself at the sales. You know you have to leave at 9:30 to get to the most important interview in your life, but you just have to feed the dog, water the flowers, make a telephone call before you leave, and of course you arrive late, as usual, for the interview. Your steering wheel simply won't take you where you want to go, a typical ADHD symptom. But it might take you on a great adventure.
•Have you ever tried to drive a car stuck in 2nd gear? With ADHD, you feel that your brain's gear shift (anterior cingulate gyrus) gets stuck too. Does your partner get stuck in work mode, hyperfocusing another ADHD symptom? He never leaves the office before 10:00pm. When he does come home, he can only talk about work. His boss thinks he's a great worker, but you are ready to walk out.
•Sometimes an old car develops a slipping clutch. When you press on the accelerator, the engine vrooms, but the old car doesn't move. The brain's gear shift can slip too. Getting started is a big ADHD problem. You say to yourself "O.k.: now it's time to clear out the closet, or pay the bills", but the body doesn't move. Has that ever happened to you? It happens to me frequently.
•Does your car purr softly while you are waiting at a red light? Or does it race madly or stall when you take your foot off the accelerator? For people with ADHD, the brain's idle (basal ganglia) mechanism determines the smooth integration of feelings, thoughts and movement. A high idle setting, ADHD emotivity, causes a high level of anxiety and chokes off movement. A low setting inhibits self-expression and small motor movements as in hand writing.
•You have your favorite radio (limbic system) stations set to play pop or classical music. Your brain's radio plays your moods, blue and depressed, negative thinking another ADHD symptom , or rosy and positive. Your emotions play an important role in your behavior. ADHD brains are often set to play blue music with negative lyrics.
•How would you feel if your accelerator (temporal lobes) suddenly went to the floor all by itself, from zero to sixty while the car in front was just oozing forward? Wow, scary thought! Could it happen? Anger, even violence against others or oneself including suicide attempts may be the result when your accelerator suddenly decides to do its own thing. Some people with ADHD impulsiveness have an anger flash point that does just that.
Many people have such symptoms from time to time, but in the crunch they are able to just do it.
For people with ADHD the problem is persistent and pervasive and is a source of frustration and failure. The harder they try the worse it gets. They can not just do it.
Scientists now see Attention Deficit with or without Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms as a problem with the executive functions: planning, goal setting, prioritizing, organizing, and following through. It affects adults as well as children.
If your car had such problems, you would take it to the garage to be fixed. What do you do for your brain? I hope this little explanation has given you an idea of what it feels like to have ADHD.
Sarah Jane Keyser is an ADD Coach and member of the ICF, CHADD, & ASPEDAH.
from http://www.addresources.org/?q=node/2042
ADHD Symptoms - What ADHD Feels Like
How the brain with ADHD relates to behavioral symptoms
by ADHD Coach,
Sarah Jane Keyser
ADHD symptoms start in the brain. The brain is a complex organism with many parts like the limbic system, the prefrontal cortex, the caudate nucleus…Uh oh, I've already lost you. Words like that are better than the snooze button, so lets talk about something you are more familiar with: a car.
• You take a firm grip on the steering wheel (prefrontal cortex of your brain) to go left and right to your destination. With ADHD you may feel that your steering wheel doesn't work. You set out to buy groceries instead you find yourself at the sales. You know you have to leave at 9:30 to get to the most important interview in your life, but you just have to feed the dog, water the flowers, make a telephone call before you leave, and of course you arrive late, as usual, for the interview. Your steering wheel simply won't take you where you want to go, a typical ADHD symptom. But it might take you on a great adventure.
•Have you ever tried to drive a car stuck in 2nd gear? With ADHD, you feel that your brain's gear shift (anterior cingulate gyrus) gets stuck too. Does your partner get stuck in work mode, hyperfocusing another ADHD symptom? He never leaves the office before 10:00pm. When he does come home, he can only talk about work. His boss thinks he's a great worker, but you are ready to walk out.
•Sometimes an old car develops a slipping clutch. When you press on the accelerator, the engine vrooms, but the old car doesn't move. The brain's gear shift can slip too. Getting started is a big ADHD problem. You say to yourself "O.k.: now it's time to clear out the closet, or pay the bills", but the body doesn't move. Has that ever happened to you? It happens to me frequently.
•Does your car purr softly while you are waiting at a red light? Or does it race madly or stall when you take your foot off the accelerator? For people with ADHD, the brain's idle (basal ganglia) mechanism determines the smooth integration of feelings, thoughts and movement. A high idle setting, ADHD emotivity, causes a high level of anxiety and chokes off movement. A low setting inhibits self-expression and small motor movements as in hand writing.
•You have your favorite radio (limbic system) stations set to play pop or classical music. Your brain's radio plays your moods, blue and depressed, negative thinking another ADHD symptom , or rosy and positive. Your emotions play an important role in your behavior. ADHD brains are often set to play blue music with negative lyrics.
•How would you feel if your accelerator (temporal lobes) suddenly went to the floor all by itself, from zero to sixty while the car in front was just oozing forward? Wow, scary thought! Could it happen? Anger, even violence against others or oneself including suicide attempts may be the result when your accelerator suddenly decides to do its own thing. Some people with ADHD impulsiveness have an anger flash point that does just that.
Many people have such symptoms from time to time, but in the crunch they are able to just do it.
For people with ADHD the problem is persistent and pervasive and is a source of frustration and failure. The harder they try the worse it gets. They can not just do it.
Scientists now see Attention Deficit with or without Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms as a problem with the executive functions: planning, goal setting, prioritizing, organizing, and following through. It affects adults as well as children.
If your car had such problems, you would take it to the garage to be fixed. What do you do for your brain? I hope this little explanation has given you an idea of what it feels like to have ADHD.
Sarah Jane Keyser is an ADD Coach and member of the ICF, CHADD, & ASPEDAH.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
New Story Sneaking In
youth and illusion
meeting at center
proceeding with flourish
i woke this more with question in my mind: Can I still do a roundhouse kick (karate). I am pretty sure no one I know now has a clue I took karate. Today, the answer to the kick question was no. Maybe it will be yes again, What it told, and brought the question is likely what I see as the immediately need for better hip flexion. After a few tries, I can still manage a side kick, poor but identifiable, and of course, still front kick. Maybe I shouldn't say "of course". So new part of my physical program all with weights, dancing, racquetball & kayak paddle practice. I bet I can get where I can do a roundhouse kick again, why not.
I see T'ai Chi is starting in the morning beginning of next month for seniors very near me. Well, I suppose I will be there, at least give it a try for one class. Find out if it is the form I know. Oh, Lord, maybe I supposed to learn a new form. Oh, no. Thought I might say yay to new form. Nope, Anita had to give private lessons on the T'ai Chi before. However, I will set one foot forward in that direction, grit my teeth a little, and maybe learn something new.
Now, is a very good time for my memory to push up a gem Anita gave me, had forgotten as I was tensing up here, "Lynn, I can tell you exactly what your problem is. You think you should already know everything even though you have never done it before." Thank you, Anita. Have used that phrase in variation many times over the years. Bless you.
strong, capable
growing skyward
i flow into me
What Do You Think
As our supervisor was leaving for the leaving she asked us if anyone needed anything else. Well, you might figure by now I have smart mouth, so "a million dollars, wait a billion dolars, wait . . . As I stopped figure how high I should so as not limit myself, all the other women ordered fast cars and good looking movies.
So if it just my age or my focus? I mean if it was money I would share . . .
So if it just my age or my focus? I mean if it was money I would share . . .
Deer Medicine
Alright think I got one
from birdclan.org
Deer medicine teaches us to use the power of gentleness to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are trying to keep us at bay. Deer has the gentleness of spirit that heals all wounds. Deer does not push to get others to change, Deer loves them as they are. Deer folks apply gentleness to a situation and become like the summer breeze: warm and caring.
Deer folk carry the message of purity of purpose; of walking in the light to dispel shadows. They know the work that they must do, and go about that work with no fanfare and no need for personal glory or recognition.
from birdclan.org
Deer medicine teaches us to use the power of gentleness to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are trying to keep us at bay. Deer has the gentleness of spirit that heals all wounds. Deer does not push to get others to change, Deer loves them as they are. Deer folks apply gentleness to a situation and become like the summer breeze: warm and caring.
Deer folk carry the message of purity of purpose; of walking in the light to dispel shadows. They know the work that they must do, and go about that work with no fanfare and no need for personal glory or recognition.
Park Photos - May
Don't read if I posted this quote before, does it matter, nah.
“There is nothing so American as our national parks. The scenery and the wildlife are native. The fundamental idea behind the parks is native. It is, in brief, that the country belongs to the people, that it is in process of making for the enrichment of the lives of all of us. The parks stand as the outward symbol of the great human principle.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
“There is nothing so American as our national parks. The scenery and the wildlife are native. The fundamental idea behind the parks is native. It is, in brief, that the country belongs to the people, that it is in process of making for the enrichment of the lives of all of us. The parks stand as the outward symbol of the great human principle.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Life Is Good
Can't remember if I posted this quote before, if so, I still like it.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe
Life is good, may or may not have found the park I was looking for today. You might surprised that happens more than I ever imagined. So in case, I, also, visited a beautiful little P-patch garden in Madrona.
Life is good, I finally rememberd I could charge the mp3 player in the usb port on the computer. Duh. It has almost all my music (still wish I could figure out where the CD's are). Think all, but the new ones on the player now. And all my voice lessons on there, too.
I think I saw a raised eyebrow or two when the kids caught the old lady dancing to the music in the cafeteria. Hard not to.
radio - "I am just as sane as I was, I'm never changing who I am."
Well to that, yes and no.
I do believe songs are better than TV. LOL. We are allowed to music to listen at work. With so many interruptions, I have chosen not to. Rethinking that. Eight people called in today. Music is just the trick.
Found the voice teacher I want to see. Clairvoyant and Voice Work sounds about right for me doesn't it. Now making an appointment. Will have to see. But step one, found the teacher.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe
Life is good, may or may not have found the park I was looking for today. You might surprised that happens more than I ever imagined. So in case, I, also, visited a beautiful little P-patch garden in Madrona.
Life is good, I finally rememberd I could charge the mp3 player in the usb port on the computer. Duh. It has almost all my music (still wish I could figure out where the CD's are). Think all, but the new ones on the player now. And all my voice lessons on there, too.
I think I saw a raised eyebrow or two when the kids caught the old lady dancing to the music in the cafeteria. Hard not to.
radio - "I am just as sane as I was, I'm never changing who I am."
Well to that, yes and no.
I do believe songs are better than TV. LOL. We are allowed to music to listen at work. With so many interruptions, I have chosen not to. Rethinking that. Eight people called in today. Music is just the trick.
Found the voice teacher I want to see. Clairvoyant and Voice Work sounds about right for me doesn't it. Now making an appointment. Will have to see. But step one, found the teacher.
Park Photos
“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”
― Louis CK
Ok, so please don't feel the need to look at all those photos a lot of trees in there. A lot, lot of very ordinary, so again will let you know the photos for the most part aren't for the artistry. I did not edit down to the "beautiful" ones. Though I may someday put all the signs in one album, all the benches in another.
Parks/trails are my spiritual path right now. Well, hmm, guess a literal physical path as well. So I consider this my personal chronicles, kind of like those travel diaries where people sketches pictures.
“Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
841 photos for May, long time loading, not done, before I have to leave so I am thinking:
I need better internet
A new Ultrabook with more RAM, got one on my wishlist, in the cart with 4 times the memory my little netbook, old laptop, old desktop. I need to see one in person. And think on the cost, like that ever stops me. But it needs to be the one.
Oh, I remember now why I want the new Ultrabook so I can get Dragon Speak Naturally software, and try the talking and letting the software type it up. Sounds so luxurious over typing.
From Gratefulness.org
WORD FOR THE DAY
Saturday, Jun. 8 |
|
Everything in the world makes sense and is wonderful if viewed through open eyes.
|
|
Jose Ortega y Gasset
|
For Equilibrium
Thinking of two friends going on journeys of importance, liking the line May your gravity be lightened by grace, may your loving hearts be free to both embrace and let go
“For Equilibrium, a Blessing:
Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.
As the wind loves to call things to dance,
May your gravity be lightened by grace.
Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,
May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.
As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.
As silence smiles on the other side of what's said,
May your sense of irony bring perspective.
As time remains free of all that it frames,
May your mind stay clear of all it names.
May your prayer of listening deepen enough
to hear in the depths the laughter of god.”
― John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings
“For Equilibrium, a Blessing:
Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.
As the wind loves to call things to dance,
May your gravity be lightened by grace.
Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,
May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.
As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.
As silence smiles on the other side of what's said,
May your sense of irony bring perspective.
As time remains free of all that it frames,
May your mind stay clear of all it names.
May your prayer of listening deepen enough
to hear in the depths the laughter of god.”
― John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings
Park Photos in February
Hallejuah, found the link to the park albums, now if I could figure on how to stop the autoplay, real Martian - not knowing which part of the HTML I could remove . . . oh well . . . here they be
Friday, June 7, 2013
Type 4 & My Past
“It was like we were exchanging codes, on how to be a father and a daughter, like we'd read about it in a manual, translated from another language, and were doing our best with what we could understand.”
-- Aimee Bender, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake
Type 4 Enneagram
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFourOverview.asp#.UbK-g6x_7Ks
Parental Orientation
Fours are disconnected from both parents. As children, they did not identify with either their mothers or their fathers. ("I am not like my mother; I am not like my father.") They may have had either unhappy or solitary childhoods as a result of their parents' marital problems, divorce, illness, or simply because of personality conflicts within the family.
Yes, we had a rift in our family that problem caused a disconnect.
One day my father just didn't come home. I only know by the story. I have memories of my grandmother taking care of me. My mother dating a sailor
named Tim. But he came back, my dad.
I only know the story, I can't even remember who told me, so odd I am thinking now. Like my grandmother (Nana, mom's mom). The story somewhere around the time I was 2 or 3 without any warning my dad just didn't come. Disappeared out of our lives. I never even really stopped until right now to think about how devasting it must have been for my mother. Funny guess I haven't really wanted to think about much at all. It sure could explain a very strained relationship I felt in the middle of all my young life.
What happened I never heard from my dad ever, at all. What I heard was that he lost his job and just decided not to come home. Is that it, was that it. Why did he come back. I sensed he loved me, but he was clear about never really wanting kids. I remember his explosive temper, no warning. I remember my nother standing between he and I protecting me, and sometimes not being able to protect me from his temper. I remember her trying. The tide of his rage just went to high and deep.
I, also, remember he drew the best teddy bears on my thumbnails, how I loved that. The one thing I could sit still for.
Hmmm. Why did he come back. I don't know. Maybe he had nowhere else to go.
I never felt they should have stayed together, but they did, right until the end.
The Individualist - Like That
So I am thinking on the possible veracity of being type 4 in Enneagram system. Funny I kept skipping past reading this one because the type was labeled - The Romantic.
I stopped to see if I was remembering the word right, what I managed to google made me laugh, aand say, well shoot, why didn't they say so:
Enneagram Type 4:
Individualist, Artist, Over-Analyzer, Mystic or Melodramatic Elitist (http://www.enneagram.net/type4.html)
Yep, guess it is all there. Not that I have it set in stone yet that this me. However, seeming more like it at the moment.
Even The Romantic part I think Jan has recognized in my love of really simple movies. I feel like I should be embarrassed, and I am a little. The first movie I can think of loving off the top of my head is Overboard with Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn. Such a silly movie. I just love that movie. If it were on right now, I'd be watching it for the umteenth. Now saying that I am probably going to have to stream it from Amazon soon. Oh, It Happened One Night with Claudette Colbert, When Harry Met Sally, even Star Wars seems to fall in there somewhere, Dead Again.
Here would be some of the Type 4 I happily aspire to:
Virtue
Your greatest strengths are your deep intuition, creativity and ability to transform painful life experiences into opportunities for profound growth and healing. This enables you to identify what is missing, and like a knight on a quest, you search until you find it or create it. Astute about human nature, you believe that everyone is an individual and that all emotions have value. Profound and insightful, you have an uncanny knack for transforming the dull and the ordinary into the exciting and extraordinary. You are able to see and appreciate what is truly unique, special and rare.
Testimony
Well, if I am doing Ferron, I must do Testimony, my favorite of hers, no video just the words that touched me in my youth, and still
Lament
Divyam was sharing her wisdom/knowledge about Enneagram Type 4 having a "cry" in their voice - well maybe after a little more practice I will record myself to see what I hear or maybe I could ask my singer at work, Wanda. Much better idea, I just have to practice for a few weeks (she actually performs publicly). Then I can give a short performance in the office. Was there something about 4's liking attention. Just a little.
That. also, made me remember seeing Canadian folk singer Ferron on the list for Enneagram Type 4. And I seem to be doing a jaunt back through my colleges years and "women's" music so a sweet lament by Ferron covers nicely here
That. also, made me remember seeing Canadian folk singer Ferron on the list for Enneagram Type 4. And I seem to be doing a jaunt back through my colleges years and "women's" music so a sweet lament by Ferron covers nicely here
“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”-- Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island
i give you the only key i can
trust is a slippery thing
yet tentatively shared
“Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?”
-- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Tipheret (Beauty); Love, or Rahamim (Compassion)
Kabbalah
"Rachamim" - (m.); mercy, compassion; based on the word "rechem," womb, linking the emotion fundamentally to the mother; yet Jewish liturgy has us praying to Hashem to have mercy on His People "K'rachem av al banim," "As a father would have mercy upon his child. In doing so, we appeal to His "Midat HaRachamim," "Attribute of Mercy."
from Judaism 101
Kabbalah
"Rachamim" - (m.); mercy, compassion; based on the word "rechem," womb, linking the emotion fundamentally to the mother; yet Jewish liturgy has us praying to Hashem to have mercy on His People "K'rachem av al banim," "As a father would have mercy upon his child. In doing so, we appeal to His "Midat HaRachamim," "Attribute of Mercy."from Judaism 101
About Enneagram Type 4 & Kabbalah Tipheret
Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings
and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts
without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what
they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do
they try to hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to
see themselves “warts and all.” Healthy Fours are willing to reveal
highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because
they are determined to understand the truth of their experience—so that
they can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional
history. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a
quiet strength. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it
easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm
other types.
I know this a small part of the analysis in this system.
What is working for me about being Type 4. I have struggled with rhe Kabbalah/Enneagram correlation because the types that I was trying to match against don't put me where I am in the Kabbalah - Tree of Life - I know I am a the Sepiroth of Tipheret - which amazing is where the 4 is put in the correlation.
The Golden Mean
Phi Ratio
Tipheret's planet (body) is the Sun.
Tipheret is at the center of the Tree. It is the point where the personality, moving up, first ventures into the realm of the soul. It is where spirit, descending, first 'splits off' and becomes physical.
Tipheret is at the summit of the personal realm, as Keter is at the summit of the Transpersonal realm. It is where the mundane world meets the spiritual.
Tipheret brings harmony and compassion to the world.
Tipheret is where the "I" is. It is the director of one's personal drama. It is not aloof, but completely involved, bringing spiritual awareness into the mundane realm. It is the small "I," as Keter is the superconsious "I." In Tipheret, we meet our higher selves, and learn to sacrifice lesser desires. It is integration of the higher reality into daily life. The animal nature is below, the spiritual nature is above.
And the last thing for a few moments, Cast in God's Image gives a pop song for each type - Type 4 = Carole King's So Far Away. Yep.
So added a remembrance the Sun is my ruling planet in Vedic Astrology.
Until I decide differently this is my Enneagram personality type. Y'all know I might decide different at anytime
I know this a small part of the analysis in this system.
What is working for me about being Type 4. I have struggled with rhe Kabbalah/Enneagram correlation because the types that I was trying to match against don't put me where I am in the Kabbalah - Tree of Life - I know I am a the Sepiroth of Tipheret - which amazing is where the 4 is put in the correlation.
The Golden Mean
Phi Ratio
Tipheret's planet (body) is the Sun.
Tipheret is at the center of the Tree. It is the point where the personality, moving up, first ventures into the realm of the soul. It is where spirit, descending, first 'splits off' and becomes physical.
Tipheret is at the summit of the personal realm, as Keter is at the summit of the Transpersonal realm. It is where the mundane world meets the spiritual.
Tipheret brings harmony and compassion to the world.
Tipheret is where the "I" is. It is the director of one's personal drama. It is not aloof, but completely involved, bringing spiritual awareness into the mundane realm. It is the small "I," as Keter is the superconsious "I." In Tipheret, we meet our higher selves, and learn to sacrifice lesser desires. It is integration of the higher reality into daily life. The animal nature is below, the spiritual nature is above.
And the last thing for a few moments, Cast in God's Image gives a pop song for each type - Type 4 = Carole King's So Far Away. Yep.
So added a remembrance the Sun is my ruling planet in Vedic Astrology.
Until I decide differently this is my Enneagram personality type. Y'all know I might decide different at anytime
Some Enneagram Type 4
Ok here's my comparsion begining so maybe I am a type 4
Examples: Rumi, Frédéric Chopin, Pyotr I Tchaikovsky, Gustav Mahler, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Edgar Allen Poe, Yukio Mishima, Virginia Woolf, Anne Frank , Karen Blixen / Isak Dinesen, Anaîs Nin, Tennessee Williams, J.D. Salinger, Anne Rice, Frida Kahlo, Diane Arbus, Martha Graham, Rudolf Nureyev, Cindy Sherman, Hank Williams, Billie Holiday, Judy Garland, Maria Callas, Miles Davis, Keith Jarrett, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens), Ferron, Cher, Stevie Nicks, Annie Lennox, Prince, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Feist, Florence ( + the Machine) Welch, Ingmar Bergman, Lars von Trier, Marlon Brando, Jeremy Irons, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder, Kate Winslet, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, Tattoo Artist Kat Von D., Magician Criss Angel, Streetcar Named Desire “Blanche duBois”
I see people I relate to and admire in there who more than Rumi (wow - yes I can aspire to his level of mysticism - I do), Nureyev (if only), Billie Holiday/Judy Garland (their talents but not their torments);
Joni Mitchell (only one of my all time favorites), Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen (another deep sigh of contentment, his songs - Hallejuah, Suzanne), Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens - Peace Train) and yes I do have to copy them even though they are already written above - know why - having fun - and ? (It's way cool); Angelina Jolie (her physical skills in Tomb Raider), Winona Ryder (singing Testify).
Maybe I might could handle being a Type 4
Oh, I missed Stevie Nicks (my core song - Landslide), Annie Lennox, Sarah McLachlan - can I just be a singer, mom. Would that be way cool? It would.
Doesn't this kind of look like a pattern I was doing the DNA testing. This is maybe my Enneagram tribe or not.
Examples: Rumi, Frédéric Chopin, Pyotr I Tchaikovsky, Gustav Mahler, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Edgar Allen Poe, Yukio Mishima, Virginia Woolf, Anne Frank , Karen Blixen / Isak Dinesen, Anaîs Nin, Tennessee Williams, J.D. Salinger, Anne Rice, Frida Kahlo, Diane Arbus, Martha Graham, Rudolf Nureyev, Cindy Sherman, Hank Williams, Billie Holiday, Judy Garland, Maria Callas, Miles Davis, Keith Jarrett, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens), Ferron, Cher, Stevie Nicks, Annie Lennox, Prince, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Feist, Florence ( + the Machine) Welch, Ingmar Bergman, Lars von Trier, Marlon Brando, Jeremy Irons, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder, Kate Winslet, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, Tattoo Artist Kat Von D., Magician Criss Angel, Streetcar Named Desire “Blanche duBois”
I see people I relate to and admire in there who more than Rumi (wow - yes I can aspire to his level of mysticism - I do), Nureyev (if only), Billie Holiday/Judy Garland (their talents but not their torments);
Joni Mitchell (only one of my all time favorites), Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen (another deep sigh of contentment, his songs - Hallejuah, Suzanne), Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens - Peace Train) and yes I do have to copy them even though they are already written above - know why - having fun - and ? (It's way cool); Angelina Jolie (her physical skills in Tomb Raider), Winona Ryder (singing Testify).
Maybe I might could handle being a Type 4
Oh, I missed Stevie Nicks (my core song - Landslide), Annie Lennox, Sarah McLachlan - can I just be a singer, mom. Would that be way cool? It would.
Doesn't this kind of look like a pattern I was doing the DNA testing. This is maybe my Enneagram tribe or not.
Well This Was A Surprise
Well, one test does not a type 4 in Enneagram make me, but now I have think and read even more
link to both a long and short version to show your Enneagram personality type under my box.
Take Free Advanced Enneagram Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
link to both a long and short version to show your Enneagram personality type under my box.
|
Enneagram Test Results
Your variant is sexual |
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
My Favorite Enneagram Symbol So Far
Now here's one more my colors, so pretty, I would ever so love this on a T-shirt, and wow I just realized this is the colors I have been seeing in meditation today, that's the exact tan.
Type-casting Your Characters
A Little of Life & Numbers
Trying to release this book since I have read it, not thinking I will read it again. I thought there was a quote I wanted that I am not finding. So only remember the beautiful essence:
believe or do not believe it does not matter, even if you do not believe in the ocean it still exists.
Then, I found this other awesome passage that is so fitting for now as I remember my dance with numbers (which I will post right after my sermonette).
I am remembering when I told a friend I applied for a job with the bank. Thinking she would excited for me. I was totally dumbfounded when she got livid about how stupid it was. She knew first hand I have never kept a check register, actually balanced a checkbook for more than a week or to. (And why should I. If I have $50 and spend $46 should I have around $4 - can remember her gritting her teeth at that one now - WHAT do YOU mean around $4 ??????). Hey, all I can say is that I don't overdraw my account. It has worked for me for decades.
She was just absolutely horrified I would take a job where I had less than no skill. Well, I can tell you how much better my banking skills are today, 1000% better.
So is it wrong or bad that I decided purposefully to take a job where my skills were weaker just so I could strengthened them. I thought it was a brilliant idea. And, when I walked in the front door through the lobby seeing my name of the list at the top for being the best banker in my workgroup is was very, very, very satisfying. So what if I didn't know. I figured I would give my best shot. I do think the fact that I care about the quality of my work matters. And I was the first person in my workshop to ever be evaluated at 100% for the service I gave.
So there my friend. I am sorry it didn't make sense to you. Sometimes you just can't explain your heart to people, and you probably should never have to. That is not about not caring for them you know. But if you aren't you who are they relating to anyway, some shell of you, some illusion of you. Bending to fit is so self-disfiguring (hmm new phrase for me - cool).
Stretching ever slightly into more of who you are, isn't that way better than curling to fit someone's illusion. Well?
Do I own soapboxes?? Well, not necessarily own. Wouldn't it be nicer to believe God lets me borrow them for awhile for worthy causes.
From the non-fiction book The Bones Of The Master - A Journey To Secret Mongolia by George Crane (a book I loved):
"No time. You know my mind, Georgie. I don't like to see people too much. Too busy. I read. Write.
Thinking. I need do research."
"Research? What kind of research?
"Mathematics. Very special. Very high. Too hard for you."
"Probably." I laughed.
"It is my how-to-make-world education. Comes from I Ching. Many years I do it. Play. Create it."
He tapped his index finger rapidly, dut-dut-dut-dut, on his left palm. "Maybe," he smiled, "I take Nobel Prize."
"Maybe."
"What makes world? Can you answer?
"No."
"Only numbers. Number can calculate world. Time. Snow, rain, semen; everything. Numbers give energy to emptiness."
"Make Buddha?"
"No Buddha produce himself."
"Your right. It is to heard for me."
"Yes. Poetry is your education. Better for you."
I can't give of this book even if I never read it again.
believe or do not believe it does not matter, even if you do not believe in the ocean it still exists.
Then, I found this other awesome passage that is so fitting for now as I remember my dance with numbers (which I will post right after my sermonette).
I am remembering when I told a friend I applied for a job with the bank. Thinking she would excited for me. I was totally dumbfounded when she got livid about how stupid it was. She knew first hand I have never kept a check register, actually balanced a checkbook for more than a week or to. (And why should I. If I have $50 and spend $46 should I have around $4 - can remember her gritting her teeth at that one now - WHAT do YOU mean around $4 ??????). Hey, all I can say is that I don't overdraw my account. It has worked for me for decades.
She was just absolutely horrified I would take a job where I had less than no skill. Well, I can tell you how much better my banking skills are today, 1000% better.
So is it wrong or bad that I decided purposefully to take a job where my skills were weaker just so I could strengthened them. I thought it was a brilliant idea. And, when I walked in the front door through the lobby seeing my name of the list at the top for being the best banker in my workgroup is was very, very, very satisfying. So what if I didn't know. I figured I would give my best shot. I do think the fact that I care about the quality of my work matters. And I was the first person in my workshop to ever be evaluated at 100% for the service I gave.
So there my friend. I am sorry it didn't make sense to you. Sometimes you just can't explain your heart to people, and you probably should never have to. That is not about not caring for them you know. But if you aren't you who are they relating to anyway, some shell of you, some illusion of you. Bending to fit is so self-disfiguring (hmm new phrase for me - cool).
Stretching ever slightly into more of who you are, isn't that way better than curling to fit someone's illusion. Well?
Do I own soapboxes?? Well, not necessarily own. Wouldn't it be nicer to believe God lets me borrow them for awhile for worthy causes.
From the non-fiction book The Bones Of The Master - A Journey To Secret Mongolia by George Crane (a book I loved):
"No time. You know my mind, Georgie. I don't like to see people too much. Too busy. I read. Write.
Thinking. I need do research."
"Research? What kind of research?
"Mathematics. Very special. Very high. Too hard for you."
"Probably." I laughed.
"It is my how-to-make-world education. Comes from I Ching. Many years I do it. Play. Create it."
He tapped his index finger rapidly, dut-dut-dut-dut, on his left palm. "Maybe," he smiled, "I take Nobel Prize."
"Maybe."
"What makes world? Can you answer?
"No."
"Only numbers. Number can calculate world. Time. Snow, rain, semen; everything. Numbers give energy to emptiness."
"Make Buddha?"
"No Buddha produce himself."
"Your right. It is to heard for me."
"Yes. Poetry is your education. Better for you."
I can't give of this book even if I never read it again.
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